I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
