it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm too high and old for this...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
