did you get engaged???
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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