the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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