So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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