He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
