Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
