1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
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I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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