3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
