mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
