have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
