Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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