Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
