you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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