.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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