I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
