i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
