...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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