me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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