No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
