Sponge bath it is.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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