the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
