The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
