ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
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If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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