Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
