Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
