Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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