Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
we should paint friendship bongs
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
