it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
