a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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