Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
