Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize