I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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