First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
