I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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