Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
