Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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