ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
