so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
