i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
