if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
