If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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