Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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