No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
