Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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