Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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