a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize