she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
