You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
