when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Pooping to opera.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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