I wish i was in the wii world.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
