I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
