I accidentally had phone sex last night
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
