ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
