but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
